It's About Relationships But Don't Take Things Personally- Contradiction?

Educating and the act of facilitating student engagement is one of the most natural and enduring staples of a healthy society. The challenge is that humans are involved, expect anything. The quality of leadership from the central office to the classroom is an extension of human relationships. Naturally, the better the foundation of the various relationships, the easier it is to build on a collaborative and exciting learning environment.

In my book, The Superintendent Rulebook, I wrote about the importance of relationship building. I also wrote that leaders need to develop the ability not to take things personally. A review of the book cited this as a contradiction. Not surprisingly, I disagree though I do understand why someone may see it that way.

Indeed, if you are advocating relationship building as a necessary ingredient of successful leadership, a person may expect you to be more vulnerable.  Vulnerability is a calculated risk, and the compartmentalizing your personal feelings is a crucial survival skill. Treating everyone in the school community with human affirming respect and kindness are the building blocks to student success. Understanding that those you work with and those in the community rarely know you personally enough to make anything "personal" is a surviving necessity. Call it rationalizing or growing a thick skin is fine, but, it is not a contradiction.

So thank you, reviewer, for allowing me to explain.